Jarvo Speaks

My Toast to Clint and Danielle

Somewhat paraphrased, the paragraphs below constitute what I think I said to approximately 290 guests at my daughter Danielle’s wedding to Clint this Saturday. I was pretty nervous and felt oddly like Frank Sinatra, holding a wine glass in one hand and a microphone in the other, but resisted the urge to sing Love and Marriage and made it through. (The wedding itself was beautiful, and the experience of walking your child down the aisle is like no other; almost spiritual. Maybe I’ll blog more on that another day.)

"I am honored to be the first to officially propose a toast to Mrs. And Mrs. Clint Ravencraft, but before I do I’d like to say first, we want to sincerely thank all of you for being here to share this joyous event with us, and I’d also like to reflect on a few things. I know you’re all waiting for the cake-cutting so I’ll try to be brief. I’ve been preparing for this wedding for several months. Now, I know what you’re thinking: he’s the father of the bride, what does he have to do? Well, I’ve been preparing in my own way for the closing of one chapter and the beginning of another. I’ve been playing old home movies and looking through mementos. I’ve been watching a little girl ride her bike; sing at recitals; dance ballet to Tchaikovsky, as well as dance around the living room with her little sister, to strange old 80s music; play Maid Marian of Sherwood Forest, and Dorothy of Oz; and blow out candles on birthday cakes. I’ve watched her clean her room in thirty seconds and recite every fact known to mankind in five. I’ve looked over souvenirs of dance team, mock trial, church, youth group, volunteer service and student office, and been reminded of accomplishment after accomplishment, award after award. And the film continues, but in one of those strange surrealistic twists so common to home movies, the scene changes and suddenly the little girl is crossing the stage to receive her college degree, and she’s no longer a child but a grown woman and you can’t quite figure out when that happened. And just when you thought you were beginning to understand this impossible, wonderful thing called fatherhood, they hand you your degree and say, you’re done with this one, Dad. Let her go.

A parent can think of a lot to worry about over the years, but one of the things we dads worry about is whether our little girls will find the right husband. Now, I don’t mean somebody to take care of her. After all, this is the 19th century. (Pause.) I mean the 21st. I’m talking about a worthy partner in life. Someone who will respect her, honor her, and stand beside her. I remember when Danielle first came home from church camp talking about a boy named Clint Ravencraft. (And I was thinking: I didn’t send you to camp to meet a boy! Aren’t you supposed to be praying in the woods or something? I mean, praying alone in the woods?) And then sometime later Clint came to visit our church in Richmond, and she introduced us, and later asked me, What did you think of Clint, Dad? Well … (spoken uncertainly) … he’s very … uh … tall! But what I was actually thinking was, he seems very nice, and Dad better not say too much. You know, Clint and I already had at least one thing in common; in those days we were both thinner and had more hair. And then the day came a couple of years ago when Clint left a message on my phone asking me to call him, because he had something he wanted to discuss. I thought he probably needed some computer advice, so I called back as soon as I could. But what he wanted was to make sure I was okay with him marrying my daughter. And I was, and am, very much okay. Because by then it was obvious that Clint and I had another more important fact in common: that we both love Danielle very much.

In India they have a lovely custom wherein the parents choose their children’s spouses. But to echo what Mike said so well yesterday, I would like to tell everyone here today that if that were the custom in America, nothing here today would have been any different. Except we’d have had a longer ceremony … and the music would have been a little different, and not as good as the wonderful music we heard at the church earlier today. Because Danielle and Clint chose each other, and I couldn’t be happier. As I’ve come to know Clint better I’ve been so impressed with his thoughtfulness, his intelligence, and his sense of honor and responsibility. Plus, he looks good in a tux. And I’ve come to know his wonderful family and am honored that they are now part of my family, and I part of theirs. Join with me now in wishing Clint and Danielle Ravencraft the best that life has to offer for many years to come. To the happy couple!"

posted by DavidTJarvis @ 6:19 PM